How I Tried to Eat Myself to Death – An Interview with Lucas Steeves
Have you ever been at a place in your life where everything seems so hopeless that you just want to give it all up?
This is his incredible story about his transformation.
What was your life before WildFit?
I was in a terrible place. Physically I weighed 350 lbs (159 kg), and my blood pressure was out of control. 3-4 months before joining The WildFit Challenge, my doctor nearly sent me to the hospital because my blood pressure was so high. I tried a few things to correct it, but I was not able to get it down to a safe range.
I was incredibly depressed, and I isolated myself. I tried to self medicate with food, drugs, and alcohol.
When I look back at it now, it feels like I was trying to eat myself to death.
I remember this moment. It was at the end of, and I was pretty broke. I had just lost a big contract for my landscaping business, and I was looking at life like “what is it worth?”. I felt that I didn’t have anything to live for. I was sitting in front of the tv, stuffing myself with food. At some point, I fell asleep. When I woke up, I had pizza crust on me, and I had spilled a beer next to me on the carpet. I was hung over, and I had half-smoked joints beside me. The worst part of it is that this was a daily occurrence at that time.
Hitting rock bottom
I remember the day I truly hit rock bottom. I think it was the first week of November 2017. I was just ready to give up. I didn’t want to push anymore. I just wanted to end it all.
I was staring at myself in the bathroom mirror. I was crying. I was freaking out. Finally, I said to myself if I don’t get myself together by Christmas; just kill yourself.
That was probably the moment when things started to shift a little bit because I had set myself a deadline. I had a definite end now. If I didn’t get this done, I was going to die.
One day I woke up and stared at the ceiling . Suddenly I heard this voice in my head that said: “Just do something different. Try anything. Doesn’t matter what it is.”
At that point, getting out of bed and doing anything was different from my normal routine. So I took my dog for a walk. Which I didn’t do all that often at the time. When we were walking, I got these thoughts and ideas. Suddenly I could see a better future. I didn’t know how to get there, but just being outside and walking around, I started to feel a little bit better, at least for a brief moment.
When I got home, a thought just hit me; “If going for a walk could make me feel that different, then maybe I should do more things differently?”
I started to do a lot of things differently. I began going to free workshops to get out of the house and get around new people. I just went online and found anything free I could go to. That was how I ended up finding WildFit.
How did you find WildFit?
I went to a free workshop, and it happened to be Successful Speaking Strategies with Eric Edmeades (the founder of WildFit) in Calgary. I had no idea about who he was, but it looked interesting. When I got there, a lot of the other participants were talking about WildFit and people were wearing WildFit t-shirts and water bottles. At the workshop, they offered Eric’s Speaking Academy, and The WildFit Challenge was one of the bonuses.
I didn’t have the money to go. But I figured I was going to die soon anyway so I could let the credit card company figure that out. I said to myself that I have nothing to lose here except for a bunch of weight, so just do it. I told myself that I’ll either try this and it works, or I would die trying.
How was the week before the Challenge started?
I had no idea what to expect. I was sort of bracing myself for the typical diet program. I had tried a few other things before, but nothing had worked.
I was just bracing myself to give everything up, so I was eating even more than usual. I was super nervous and super excited. I had the feeling that I was doing the right thing. I’m on to something good.
What was the feeling the first week of the program?
The challenge started on December 18th, 2017. I was surprised about the way the program began because it was so different than all the other stuff I’d tried before.
I just felt more and more comfortable and secure with the group of people I was going through The Challenge with, and the coaches were so inspiring. I felt better and better.
Then Christmas came, and that was the deadline for when I was going to kill myself. I thought that I was on this program now, I’m over two weeks into it at that point, so I thought I can’t stop now.
So I delayed my deadline.
During the challenge — did you notice any beliefs or patterns that were created when you were a child, that controlled you in your adult life, without realizing it?
Yes, a lot! The biggest thing was the overall sense of lack and not being good enough. When I was very young, my father left. I didn’t realize it, but I’ve always carried that with me as a feeling of not being good enough. I had this feeling that’s why he left me.
Getting past that was really powerful. Getting to a place where I deserved to live a good life and I deserved people that cared about me and did the things I wanted to do.
What did it feel at the end of the Challenge?
Over the next three month, I lost 35 pounds. I quit drinking. I quit smoking marijuana. I stopped stuffing myself with food every night. It was the turning point of my life, and it stopped me from killing myself.
At the end of The Challenge, I felt absolutely unstoppable.
Unfortunately, I was too self-conscious of taking my before picture, so I didn’t have the reference to go back to.
I just felt so amazing. I had no fear coming out of The Challenge. I thought that this was me and this is how I want to live my life. I’m in control of my life. The contrast from where I was three months earlier was so huge.
What changed for you that made you not want to kill yourself?
I had energy, and I felt better because I was eating real food. I started sleeping better which was a massive change for me. Before The Challenge, I was lucky to get 2-3 hours of shallow and poor sleep. Suddenly I was sleeping 4-6 hours of good quality sleep. I was part of a community that accepted me and supported me and pushed me to keep going. I didn’t want to lose them.
The biggest thing was realizing that I was in control, and I had the power to live the life I wanted.
How has the time been since the challenge?
It’s been a wild ride. I doubled the size of my business, I’ve started exercising. I learned that I could deadlift up to over 350 pounds. I got into speaking professionally.
I’m comfortable being me.
How are you feeling now?
I’m feeling good, and I have a lot of momentum. I’m at the place where I’m looking for what’s next big thing for me. I’m working on a lot of cool projects that I started as a result of coming out of The WildFit Challenge.
I’ve had a couple of instances where I went back to my old eating habits. There was a couple of difficult times where I had to figure a way out of. I started to gain pounds again. But both times I just started to watch the videos from The WildFit Challenge and did the process again.
I’ve now released more weight than the first time I did the challenge. I know I have more work to do, but I have the confidence to do it, and I feel that I have control. It’s not a big problem anymore. My weight used to be an immovable barrier in my life. And now, when I notice that I’m moving in the wrong direction, I know how to get back on track.